As a wedding guest in the 21st century you are going to want to put your best foot forward. By this I mean staying up to date on the changes in the rule book and also get to know what has entirely been crossed out. Yes, there is a rule book! Here is a glance into the changes that have taken place in the rule book.


The old rule: You shall not steal the bride’s thunder by wearing white to a wedding —and black’s out of the question, too.

Black used to be taboo.

But things have changed now and you can don a light, breezy black dress, especially if you’re on your way to a summer wedding. Avoid shroud-looking garments since you aren’t attending a funeral. You can liven up the all-black look with some killer shoes and playful jewelry.

What about white?

Traditionally, you would not wear white. White and ivory should be left for the bride — and that still holds true today. You can wear a dress with some white in it, or have white somewhere within your outfit, but you shouldn’t plan to show up wearing an all-white ensemble.”


The old rule: You shall not take any photos without permission.

Nowadays everyone’s phone takes photos which are then promptly uploaded to social media platforms. Before you do these make sure that you’re not trumping the bride and groom.

Some will encourage you to photograph the event, and even give you a hashtag to use on all the wedding photos. But if you aren’t sure what they want, be cautious. Which means, DON’T POST ANYTHING.

Secondly, if there’s a professional photographer, don’t get in their way. The bride and groom are likely looking forward to having photos taken by the professional they paid to do the job. They’ll appreciate it if you allow the photographer his or her space.

Also remember, not to post pictures of children without permission.


The old rule: The bride and groom are expected to create a registry. And you should not stray from the items on the list.

A registry is still pretty fabulous because it’s specific and provides details on exactly what the bride and groom are going to need. They still serve a purpose. So, if you’re provided with a link to a registry, you should still go by it.

If you plan to go wild and get the happy couple something they didn’t ask for, then get a gift receipt.

In the end, this rule isn’t going anywhere. In fact, there’s even more of a reason to abide by the registry system. Nowadays, people are getting married a little older. They may already be living together, and they might have a lot of household stuff. You can’t be sure your gift will actually be helpful to them unless you check that list.”


The old rule: You shall respectfully participate in all wedding traditions, including the throwing of the bridal bouquet.

Some people love going out and catching the bouquet. Other girls may feel like, ‘That’s so outdated. I don’t want to put myself in that position where I’m vying for the flowers.’

Whatever you believe, this day is not about you, and if the bride has chosen to include a tradition such as this one in her big day, that’s her choice.

Rather than making a scene, simply excuse yourself quietly.


The old rule: You shall attend every second of the wedding ceremony, which will most likely be in a religious setting. Then, you can attend the party.

Nowadays most people don’t want to sit through the religious ceremony; they just want to turn up for the fun part. Well, if the couple has invited you to the wedding, they’re expecting you to join them for the full experience.”

A ceremony and reception go hand in hand, meaning this rule is here to stay.

Trust me, the bride and groom will remember who shows up and who doesn’t. And they’ll remember who leaves early, too.

It’s true that the tradition of the ceremony has changed enormously over the years. But whatever that ceremony consists of, you’re sharing an important moment with the couple. Be there for them.

The old rule: You shall consider bringing a plus one if and only if the invitation makes it clear that a person other than you is being invited.

Invitations may look different, but the tradition is the same.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend’s name is not on the invitation, or if it doesn’t include a crystal-clear ‘plus one’ addition, they’re not invited.

The exception is if you’re engaged or married. In that case, the invite blunder was probably just an oversight on the part of the bride or planner.

Bridal Heaven Kenya, Your One-Stop Wedding Blog!


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